Saturday, September 22, 2007

"Ninja Cheerleaders" review

Ninja Cheerleaders (2007)

Director: David Presley
Writer: David Presley

Trishelle Cannatella... Courtney
Ginny Weirick... April
Maitland McConnell... Monica
George Takei... Hiroshi
Michael Paré... Victor Lazzaro
Omar J. Dorsey... Manny
Max Perlich... Jimmy 'The Snitch'
Natasha Chang... Kinji
Larry Poindexter... Detective Harris

I went to a cast and crew screening of “Ninja Cheerleaders” the other day. I was invited to go by my usual B-movie plus one. This time however, I was the plus one and he was the man. We rolled down Melrose to check out the flick with about 150 or so of our closest friends. Actually, we didn’t know anyone there. It’s more fun that way. So when people stare at you and wonder why you’re there, you can give them that mysterious look as if you totally belong there and they should know who in the heck you are.

After the movie was over, we hopped in the car and headed to a club over on Sunset. This was the after party for the screening and the alcohol was flowing. Unfortunately, my friend hadn’t figured out where the free booze was and bought two drinks at the bar. Later we learned the hard truth about Hollywood liquor prices and tears were falling. But once we found where the secret VIP booze was, all became right with the world. We talked up many members of the cast and crew to discuss what fortunes ultimately await their movie.

After two Red Bull and Vodkas, the Ninja Cheerleaders came over and we began talking about some other things but my memory is a little bit hazy on the details. All I do know is that one of the Cheerleaders was totally into me. Wait…is that what happened or did she leave faster than the Roadrunner? Before I could dwell on the subject, a dancing fire show broke out. Yes, I said a dancing fire show. I saw a girl in a Catholic schoolgirl uniform shaking her hips while a burning hula hoop went round and round her body. Ahh, good times man.

One of the main selling points of “Ninja Cheerleaders” is Trishelle Cannatella. Unfortunately, this selling point was lost on me as I despise reality TV and would only know of her existence if I had seen one of her many shows on MTV. After watching the movie, I was interested in talking her up for a bit at the party. She wasn’t there. Another selling point of “Ninja Cheerleaders” was George Takei as the wise Hiroshi. Getting the chance to gab with Mr. Sulu would have been pretty cool. He wasn’t there either. Oh well. I’ll always have my “Ninja Cheerleader” memories.

Three babes are cheerleaders by day and ninjas any other time they’re not cheering. They’ve been studying hard to get into an Ivy League school and need to win the go-go dancing tournament to pay for it all. Of course they do. But their concentration gets broken when their wise master gets kidnapped by some B-movie thugs. They can’t decide if they should waste the bad guys or go ahead with their go-go dancing. They decide their master would have wanted them to gyrate on stage for their academic future. This is a wise man. It all ends with a lot of bone crunching swordplay with George Takei showing why he is the master.

“Ninja Cheerleaders” is a total B-movie. The title doesn’t lie to you. They have cheerleaders and they have ninjas. You will see cheering and you will see, uh, ninjaing.

It’s a fun flick with the girls alternating between dancing on stage, cheering at the big game or breaking many arms and legs of hapless punks. The camera work is pretty good for a B-flick as all of the action scenes are coherent and keep moving. There’s not a lot of sleaze in this flick but that’s on purpose. They were trying to keep a light tone and managed to hold it throughout the movie. As a sleaze maniac, I was hoping for a little nudity from the ninja babes but I guess I’ll live with what I got. Overall, I had a good time. “Ninja Cheerleaders” is worth a look.
SCORE: 2 out of 4 Ninja babes


Lenny said...

I feel like, maybe, possibly, perhaps, you're opinion here was clouded by the complimentary booze, perhaps, possibly, maybe.

- Lenny

Lenny said...

Your, I meant "your". I do in fact know the difference between "your" and "you're", though it clearly doesn't show based on my last comment.

Dr. Gore ( said...


Thanks for writing.

Are you suggesting that my review is somehow tainted by the sweet, sweet taste of free Red Bull and Vodkas? And dancing girls with fire hula hoops? And talking to Ninja Cheerleaders in a Hollywood nightclub? Perish the thought.

Although I must admit I found the whole experience to be enjoyable. Speaking as a sleaze fan, "Ninja Cheerleaders" was pretty light. If I went in expecting to see a sordid B-flick, I'd be disappointed. I was expecting something goofy and I got Ninja Cheerleaders.

However, I did have a chance to talk to the director during the after party and I asked him why the Ninja Cheerleaders did not get naked more often. Or at all even. He jokingly responded with something like, "That's my wife you're talking about!" He then proceeded to lament the fact that if you wanted women who would do nudity, you'd suffer in the acting department.

My first thought was to tell him to embrace being a B-movie and go for the sleaze gusto. But then the Red Bull and Vodka kicked in and a good time was had by all.

Anonymous said...

I suppose it is telling that your original posting takes place before the movies release, and my comment just after viewing it on Showtime.

Not really knowing whether or not you are a he or a she is not as important as your choice of drinks: Red Bull and Vodka? I mean, come on - who gets 'S' Faced drinking that?

The best line of the film was George Takai's "...but I'm old, and I sometimes forget the rules." I always thought that a movie review was about the movie. I guess Mr. Sulu isn't the only one who forgets.