Sunday, November 27, 2005

"Wolves of Wall Street" review

Wolves of Wall Street (2002)

Directed by David DeCoteau Writing credits Barry L. Levy

Jeff Branson.... Tyler
Louise Lasser.... Landlady
William Gregory Lee.... Jeff Allen

So this guy dreams about being a stock broker and heads to Wall Street. You'll know that it's Wall Street because the street and subway sign for Wall Street are shown numerous times. He's down on his luck until he goes to the Wolfie Boy Toy brokerage house. It's a hip, happening brokerage firm where all the men are buff and drink tea. They also dress sharp and have great hair. They want the new guy to run with the pack. Will he howl along with them? Only an idiot would stick around to find out.

This rotten excuse of a horror movie really hurt me. There is not one werewolf in the entire movie. Not one! Most of the movie is spent having some broker tell the new guy how to be a good salesman/predator. This wouldn't have been so bad if there was some remote semblance of a payoff. What a sick joke. There's nothing. When you have a sex scene with four guys and two girls and all the nudity is on the guy's side, you'll know that the movie has dive-bombed into complete oblivion. The horror angle is only the hook to get the ignorant suckers, (like me), to rent this awful rip-off. I have learned my lesson the hard way. Please excuse me while I howl in agony, "AH-WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"


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