Saturday, March 26, 2011

"Feeders" review

Feeders (1996)

Writer: Mark Polonia

Jon McBride ... Derek

John Polonia ... Bennett

Todd Carpenter ... Fisherman

Sebastian Barran ... Doctor

Melissa Torpy ... Michelle

Space. The Final Frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Feeders. To seek out new life to destroy, to explore strange new DVD players, to boldly make the worst movie of all time. "Feeders" doesn't know fear. It doesn't know about talent. It has no concept of entertainment. If you see a Feeder, there will be an anal probing. Feeders operate under a strict "no survivors" policy. You are doomed if you see a Feeder. Run!

"Feeders" is about Feeders. They are tiny aliens who attack the backwoods of Pennsylvania. They have landed in the hopes of finding something interesting to do. Their little heads bob around looking for a movie. No such luck.

Bashing "Feeders" is kind of pointless. It was as low budget and terrible as you would expect just from looking at the video box. I'm an eternal optimist so I rented it anyway. The aliens were puppets that looked ridiculous and the acting was awful. There is so much more that deserves to be trashed but I think it would be best if I just summed it up this way: This movie sucks.

The only thing positive to say about "Feeders" is that it has one of the greatest bad acting scenes ever committed to film. Two girls are on the phone and one of them says something like, "Wait. My dad will find out." It was incredible. She was reading off of a cue card. I rewound it about five times to make sure I saw this girl say these words with absolutely no emotion whatsoever. It was hysterical.

So aside from seeing that girl do one of the most hilarious bad acting performances ever, there's not anything to recommend about "Feeders". It wasn't good.


1 comment:

teddy crescendo said...

Sorry but its still 100 times better than anything the British film industry has ever produced.