Thursday, February 03, 2011

"Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust" review

Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust (2008)

Michelle Bauer ... Polly Bunderhoof
Bruce Dent ... Ricki Johnson
Travis Dixon ... Lieutenant Grant
Junie Hoang ... Ensign del Rio
K-von ... Kelvin
Frank Nicotero ... Marty
Joseph Porter ... Tommy Hines
Kelsey Sanders ... Heather
Jon Southwell ... Jake Jackson
John Vulich ... Gingerdead Man / Makeup Effects Guy #4

The Gingerdead Man is back and he's on a B-movie set. Somehow he ends up in a bakery box and is served to the crew by Michelle Bauer. She's working craft services and she looks amazing. The Gingerdead man needs to resurrect himself so he decides that slicing and dicing some B-movie people will do the trick. Meanwhile, a dying "kid" is granted a last dying wish. He wishes to tour a B-movie set and the owner is happy to oblige. The owner defends his movie making craft vigorously to the "kid" as they tour the shambles of the studio. Many exploitation movie in-jokes follow as the Gingerdead Man goes about his business of ruining another B-movie.
You may ask yourself how a movie about a killer gingerbread man can go so wrong. But I think a better question to ask is how can a movie about a killer gingerbread man go right? If you were punished into making a "Gingerdead Man" sequel, what could you do? We know these movies aren't meant to be scary. There isn't any chance of real horror showing up in these movies. So the only saving grace "Gingerdead Man" could possibly have is to be funny. You need a funny cookie monster. The movie sinks or swims on how amusing the Gingerdead man can be.

So since the movie depends on a possessed cookie entertaining you, it must inevitably fail. I didn't laugh once at the Gingerdead man and his Gingerdead attempts at comedy. In fact, I'd like to take the Gingerdead man by his feet and dunk him headfirst in milk until the little milk bubbles stop gurgling up from his mouth. Then I would take a bite out of his Gingerdead head and laugh maniacally as I chug the milk down.

All scenes with the Gingerdead Man are pointless and idiotic. Here's the Gingerdead Man's M.O.: He stalks a member of the crew, kills them while spouting terrible dialogue, there's a little blood, repeat. It gets very tedious watching this cookie puppet pretend to be a psycho killer. The fast forward button was calling my name but I hung in there and watched all of his monster antics. It wasn't worth it.

I believe the filmmakers also knew that the Gingerdead Man is incapable of providing any entertainment so they spent most of the movie focusing on the owner of the studio. His witty repartee, (note sarcasm), with the dying "kid" becomes the highlight of the film. The "kid" turns out to be a rabid B-movie fan who writes a blog and has been bashing the owner's movies on the internet. But all he really wants to do, naturally, is grovel at the B-movie makers feet. He has an orgasm at the mere thought of working for him. You know how those reviewers are. I suspect the filmmakers knew they were going to get slammed for this movie and wanted to jab any future, (and past for that matter), reviewers of their product. It's all in good fun. Except when the Gingerdead Man shows up. That's no fun at all.

The only thing positive I can say about "Gingerdead Man 2" is that Michelle Bauer is in it. She was the real highlight of the movie. She is hot as always and makes me wish there was more, so much more, of her in this movie. Every time I see her, I wish she was in more B-movies. On the other hand, I wish the Gingerdead Man was in fewer B-movies. So much fewer. As in none at all. I want this cookie to crumble.

SCORE: 1.5 out of 4 cookie monsters
Here's something good in "Gingerdead Man 2:" The Passion for more Bauer


otis rampaging heterosexuality said...

When i saw that picture of The Cookie Monster saying "what the hell is this crap" i fell off my chair laughing (literally), brilliant my old mate, brilliant. By the way, i want to bugger Michelle (as the bird was in 1976 when the bird was 18, not as the bird is now obviously).

Dr. Gore said...

Thanks. Better to get a laugh out of "Gingerdead Man" then the way I went through it.