Sunday, May 20, 2007

"Gladiator Eroticvs: The Lesbian Warriors" review

Gladiator Eroticvs: The Lesbian Warriors (2001)

Director: John Bacchus
Writers: John Bacchus Joe Ned

Darian Caine ... Eroticus
Erin Brown ... Clitoris (as Misty Mundae)
Jade Duboir ... Orgasmus
John Paul Fedele ... Dickus Minimus (as John P. Fedele)
Debbie Rochon ... Slave Master Fellatio
Katie Jordan ... Lesbian Axe Gladiator
A.J. Khan ... Lesbian Spear Gladiator
Ruby Larocca ... Clitoris' Wench (as Esmerelda Dellaroca)
Lilly Tiger ... Horny Seamstress

I bought this DVD because it felt like the right time for some lesbian gladiators. Come to think of it, it’s always the right time for some lesbian gladiators. Darian Caine wants to take on the forces of darkness after being enslaved as a lesbian gladiator. She attacks anyone who crosses her path by having lesbian gladiator sex with them. Debbie Rochon shows up and does not have lesbian gladiator sex. Darian overcomes Debbie’s Sapphic reluctance by getting it on with every other female cast member – Lesbian gladiator style.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that there were a lot of lesbian gladiators in this movie. There was some juvenile plot going on in the background but I found it better to ignore that nonsense and fast forward through it all. Whenever a man showed up trying to explain something, it was fast forward time. It didn’t matter what he had to say. Whatever it was, it would’ve been a complete waste of time to listen to it. He wasn’t a lesbian gladiator so who cares what he’s babbling about? One day perhaps filmmakers will realize that men have no place in a lesbian gladiator movie.

So if you ignore all of the idiotic men in this movie, “Gladiator Eroticvs” is a pretty good softcore flick. Darian Caine gets to have most of the fun in this one. Everyone gets a piece of Caine. For some reason, her voice is dubbed. They didn’t believe that a raspy voiced Caine could be believable as the lesbian general?! I’m shocked and disgusted. Well, not really. But I did think it was funny. One of my favorite sex scenes had Caine and Jade Duboir going at it on the field of lesbian battle. Whatever happened to Jade Duboir? She was great in this one. I also loved her in “Vampire Obsession”. She’s got perfect perky breasts that beg for a lesbian gladiator licking. Caine was there to oblige her.

Later in the movie, A.J. Khan shows up in a battle scene along with Katie Jordan and some other lesbian gladiators. It quickly shifts gears into an orgy. A.J. Khan knows a thing or two about being a lesbian gladiator. A.J. and Katie Jordan go very well together. In one part of the raging battle orgy, A.J. yanks Katie’s hair back so she can get at her breasts. Jordan likes it a little rough and Khan pushes all of her buttons. She pushes mine too.

A.J. Khan is great. Its women like her that makes softcore flicks worth watching. It’s not just about posing for the camera. It’s about knowing what your onscreen partner likes and trying to get a strong reaction out of them. I’ve never seen a bad A.J. Khan sex scene. Some are better than others but she has tried her best to make it hot.

So if you’re looking for lesbian gladiators, and I’m sure you are, “Gladiator Eroticvs” is worth a look.

SCORE: 2.5 out of 4 A.J. Eroticvs


Michael Whiteacre said...

I placed this movie on US tv/ppv too. The dubbing was on purpose -- it was a parody of the old Italian gladiator movies which were always post-dubbed.

jervaise brooke hamster said...

I want to bugger the three incredible babes on the DVD cover, those birds are quite ass-tonishing.