Monday, June 14, 2010

"Bikini Frankenstein" review

Bikini Frankenstein (2010)

Director: Fred Olen Ray

Frankie Cullen ... Dr. Frankenstein
Jayden Cole ... Eve
Brandin Rackley ... Ingrid
Christine Nguyen ... Claudia
Billy Chappell ... Clyde (as Tony Marino)
Ted Newsom ... Professor Van Sloane
Ron Ford ... Dr. Waldman

Dr. Frankenstein has a horny dream. A noble wet dream. It involves bringing a really hot corpse back to life. He finds the tallest, hottest dead woman he can find and pumps her full of electricity. Thankfully the lust experiment is a success. Eve, (Jayden Cole), springs to life and proceeds to do what any grateful undead babe would do. She grabs Frankenstein's assistant, (Brandin Rackley), and has sex with her on the operating table. Now that Frankenstein has the resurrected babe he's always wanted, he needs to show off his particular genius. So naturally he takes Eve to a cocktail party where everybody gets laid and a good time is had by all.

So "Bikini Frankenstein". It was on cable and I was up. Who was I to neglect watching yet another Fred Olen Ray bikini movie? Although no one actually wears a bikini in this movie, Jayden does wear a fetching two-piece. But why does the word "bikini" thrill Ray so much? Does he have some sort of Pavlovian response to the word? He hears the word "bikini" and starts drooling? I suppose we could consider some sort of classical conditioning testing on these prolific softcore auteurs but it may lead us down alleys in the mind that we're not ready for yet.

Now I'll be honest. I was fading in and out on this one. I didn't really catch all the subtle nuances that encompass a Fred Olen Ray softcore flick. But I was wide awake during the sex scenes and "Bikini Frankenstein" has some memorable ones. Brandin Rackley has a good scene with Jayden Cole on the operating table. Brandin is a kisser and I love that about her. She starts making out with Jayden and eventually they get into some tribbing which causes sparks to fly. Later, Brandin and Jayden head to the shower for some cooling off after their life igniting tribbing. Jayden is such a tall woman that Brandin has to stand on her tip toes just to reach her mouth for some more kissing scenes.

Now about Jayden Cole. Wow. She's amazing. She was an inspiration. Well, she inspired me to keep watching that's for sure. When the movie shifts to the cocktail party, there are the obligatory guy/girl scenes which really didn't thrill me too much. But the movie ends with an outstanding three way scene with Jayden, Brandin, and Christine Nguyen. This scene makes the movie worth watching. It also makes life worth living. Brandin and Christine pile up on Jayden and make her the center of their Sapphic attention. There is a lot of kissing and breast licking here which is what makes softcore movies the treasure they (sometimes) are.

So if you're up late one night and you need a tall woman in your life, give "Bikini Frankenstein" a look. Jayden Cole is a woman of action and gets a lot of it. Even if you can't stay awake to watch the whole thing, be sure to set your alarm clock so you can catch the last twenty minutes. Forget about a good night's sleep because there's a Jayden three-way scene that you have got to see.

SCORE: 2.5 out of 4 two-piece Jaydens


the sneering (homo-phobic) snob said...

I want to bugger Jayden cole (as she was in 2003 when she was 18, not as she is now obviously). By the way, i want to bugger the other 2 gorgeous chicks in this movie as well when they were 18. I wish every chick in the world could be 18 forever.

the kill team said...

I DVR'd this off HBO ZONE and watched it his morning and found it kinda cool!I love Frankenstein AND hot amarous chicks so,of course,I had to watch!The first scene with Alexis Texas as good,but the final 3 girl scene ROCKS!I thought the reference to the absurd levor of BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN was retained!

Anonymous said...

Wow, you "obviously" wouldn't want to have sex with a 26-year-old? You're going to be very, very sad when you get into your 30s, because 18-year-olds will not have sex with you, and you obviously won't want to have sex with anyone your own age. Sad...