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Saturday, May 23, 2009

"Warrior Queen" review


Warrior Queen (1987)

Director: Chuck Vincent
Writers: Rick Marx Harry Alan Towers

Sybil Danning ... Berenice, Roman ambassador / Swordwoman
Donald Pleasence ... Clodius Flaucus, ruler of Pompeii
Rick Hill ... Marcus, the chariot warrior (as Richard Hill)
Josephine Jacqueline Jones ... Chloe, the senior slave (as J.J. Jones)
Tally Chanel ... Vespa, the new blonde slave
Samantha Fox ... Philomena / Augusta, Clodius' wife (as Stasia Micula)
Suzanna Smith ... Veneria, the experienced blonde slave

I rented this one from my terrible local video store. Why do I keep going back there? It's probably because they have such an eclectic variety of B-movies to choose from. Not only is Sybil Danning in this one but it also has porn legend Samantha Fox. If you saw "Dracula Exotica", you know what I'm talking about.

As for "Warrior Queen", let's just say it's not Fox's finest work. Speaking of career lows, Donald Pleasence shows up as the ruler of Pompeii. He tries to impress Warrior Queen Sybil Danning but it's to no avail. Danning is so bored with this movie she looks like she's going to fall asleep. One of Pleasance's party tricks is to release doves and then try to catch them with a butterfly net. He runs around and acts completely insane which surprisingly doesn't endear him to Queen Danning. At this point in the movie I had to stop and ask myself, why did I rent this garbage? Then, right on cue, an orgy broke out. Ahh ha. I knew there was sleaze hiding here somewhere.

"Warrior Queen" is an exceedingly lame B-movie with a great video box cover. There's just something about a picture of barbarian women with the name Sybil Danning on the top that I find hard to resist. There are a few violent scenes as various gladiators do battle with each other as lamely as possible. There's also a thrilling volcano explosion that was lifted from a better movie.

But if you are going to subject yourself to this, make sure you rent the unrated version and your fast forward button is working. You'll have a lot of filler to get through to see the orgiastic excesses of Pompeii. And I don't mean Emperor Pleasance and his lust for dove catching.

SCORE: 1.5 out of 4 Queen Dannings
Achtung Sybil.

5 comments:

the sneering (homo-phobic) snob said...

so sybil was 40 when this was made which means she was...er...well you know the rest.

Seth J G Goodkind said...

A classic, one of Danning's and Chuck Vincent's worst but Donald Pleasance as usual does it with enthusiasm.

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

Classically terrible. Although there is weird fun to be had watching Pleasance go insane. And watching Danning do anything.

Michael Whiteacre said...

Chuck Vincent was, by all accounts, a really nice, loyal guy, but he was not much of a director. By far, his most memorable work was done in the XXX industry -- the only multi-billion dollar industry with no professionals -- featuring stars that would often pop up in the b-movie work, like my oldest friend in the world Veronica Hart/Jane Hamilton, as well as Samantha Fox. Producer Harry Alan Towers did not enjoy such a good reputation, however.

I rented this movie way back when, in the Bronx, for one reason: Sybil Danning. I love Sybil Danning. But I walked away loving Israeli-born Tally Chanel more. I got to meet Tally a few times after I moved to L.A., and visited her at her condo. She is very sweet and quite a character with lots of stories of her brushes with fame and infamy (including a brief Johnny Depp scandal).

My favorite Chuck Vincent star, however, has to be Ruth Collins (the star of Vincent's Sexpot, and others). I also visited her at her home in Hollywood, and I think about it often. Vincent also worked with my old NYU classmate, Penthouse Pet Kimbery Taylor (of Frankenhooker fame) in Cleo/Leo, a movie which many say was later ripped off by Hollywood.

Warrior Queen was sold based on its box cover and the "names" of Ms. Danning and Mr. Pleasance. Everyone needs to make a buck. It was "product" for the then-product-hungry video market, and as such, it didn't have to be a good movie, it just had to be a costume movie with some nudity which was in-focus and feature length. And that it is.

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

"Warrior Queen" was definitely in focus. I can give it that much credit. The rest of the movie was lacking. Actually I don't think Sybil Danning got naked in this one although a few of the other orgy girls tried to carry the exploitation load.

You've stumped me with Tally Chanel. I've never heard of her. I had to look her up and her Johnny Depp scandal. Google tells me that they were engaged to be married during the Viper Room days. I'm sure she has a few good stories to share.

I'm not surprised to hear that a Penthouse Pet was a classmate of yours. "Frankenhooker" was a fun flick too. Hopefully you took her out on the town and took some pictures. I can see it now, Viper room with Frankenhooker. Sounds like a B-movie party to me.