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Monday, May 04, 2009

"Bog" review

Bog (1983)

Director: Don Keeslar
Writer: Carl Kitt

Gloria DeHaven ... Ginny Glenn / Adrianna
Aldo Ray ... Sheriff Neal Rydholm
Marshall Thompson ... Dr. Brad Wednesday
Leo Gordon ... Dr. John Warren
Glen Voros ... Alan Tanner
Rohay North ... Chuck Pierce

I had been staring at the video box cover for "Bog" for awhile. There it was, teasing me, daring me to rent it. It knows my weakness. It knows that I must see every terrible monster movie. When you wonder why they keep making these kinds of movies, think of me and my soon to be missed four bucks.

The video box cover for "Bog" had a swamp monster bubbling up out of the water. Or was it bubbling down into the muck? Not sure. It would have been better for all concerned if it had stayed buried in the bog.

A hick goes dynamite fishing and disturbs the creature living in the bog. The beast awakens and attacks anyone who comes near his beloved bog. The sheriff tries to get excited about finding the monster but sheer bog boredom overtakes him. The creature is a tough monster to catch as it is very adept at staying out of sight. It had to be fast on its feet because it didn't want anyone laughing at its outrageously terrible rubber suit.

So swamp thing attacks people and some other stuff happens. This meaningless exercise in B-movie making will pound you into submission. You start the movie, nothing interesting happens and then the movie ends. However, there are a lot of scenes set in the bog. It's a very boggy movie. If you like to look at bogs, this movie is for you. But if bogs aren't your bag, bag this "Bog".

SCORE: 1 out of 4 boggy deaths

4 comments:

the sneering (homo-phobic) snob said...

according to IMDB this was shot in `78 so that would make gloria de haven 53 at the time (35 years past the peak of her physical attractiveness and desirability) so back in 1943 she was probably quite a hot chick. I see also that marshall thompson was in this, do you remember cheryl miller that gorgeous chick who played his daughter in that old show "daktari", that bird used to drive me wild, i`ve been wondering for over 40 years wheather she ever posed naked for a photo shoot or even in a movie back then when she was in her prime, (although i think she was 24 when she appeared in daktari, so strickley speaking she was already 6 years past the peak of her physical attractiveness and desirability) i was wondering if you had any naked pictures of cheryl miller that you could publish on this site, remember i`ve been waiting over 40 years for a glimpse of that birds incredible arse, i`m not kiddin` cheryl miller really was an amazing chick.

Kester Pelagius said...

"You start the movie, nothing interesting happens and then the movie ends."

"A hick goes dynamite fishing"

Your weekend's must be a lot more interesting than mine if the above is that ordinary to you! So which member of the Mythbusters team are you in real life?

;-)

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

Cheryl Miller you say? I don't know about her. Actually, I've never heard of "Daktari" either. You've stumped me again.

But I took the opportunity to google Cheryl Miller and she is lovely. Almost every shot of Cheryl had her posing with a lion or some other jungle creature. Couldn't find any naked pics though. Too bad as I wouldn't have mind seeing the full glory that is Cheryl of the jungle.

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

Kester,

I am the grand myth buster. Nothing shocks me.

Actually, I'm making "Bog" sound more interesting than it is. Dynamite fishing may sound like it holds the possibility of limitless excitement but the way "Bog" shows it leaves much to be desired. Except the desire to turn off the movie.

You'll have to take my word for it as you don't want to experience "Bog" for yourself. You'll be wishing you were a fish getting dynamited just so the pain could stop.