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Sunday, June 14, 2009

"Gothkill" review

Gothkill (2009)

Director: JJ Connelly
Writer: JJ Connelly

Anastacia Andino... DJ Demon
Eve Blackwater... Kate
Juliya Chernetsky... Demonatrix
Michael Day... Lord Walechia
Frank Dudley... Father Connelly
Flambeaux... Nick Dread
Erica Giovinazzo... Annie
Vlad Marco... Tarot Card Reader
Julie Saad... Witch
Sky Claudette Soto... Go Go Dancer

I was sent this DVD. Actually, I received a whole B-movie care package from the filmmakers of "Gothkill". PR award of the year goes to Wild Eye for sending not only "Gothkill", but "The Bloody Ape" and "Blitzkreig: Escape from Stalag 69" as well. There were also some theater cards promoting various double features they ran in NYC along with some buttons. My friend's are proudly wearing those buttons now. And to top it all off the official barf bag for "Blitzkreig" was sent to me too. Now that's my kind of salesmanship. It makes me wish the old 42nd street was still around so I could have watched this triple feature the way nature intended. Surrounded by drunken degenerates who could cut my throat at any second is the only way to go.

Well, the old 42nd street is gone but the B-movie triple feature lives on! I can't go to Times Square to watch these films so I did the next best thing. I drove to Pasadena and basked in the glory that is the mighty shire. So with the help of two friends, (not quite drunken degenerates but close), we settled in to watch the triple feature. It was "Gothkill" followed by "The Bloody Ape" and then "Blitzkreig".

"Gothkill" is about the ancient art of killing Goths. A Catholic priest was burned at the stake during the Inquisition for not jumping on the innocent killing bandwagon. The priest decides he's had it with two faced Catholicism and wants to be with someone he can trust. The Devil of course. Now there's a guy known for his honesty. The Devil makes the priest a deal. If he can ship off enough souls to Hell, the Devil will cut out a piece of the underworld just for him. It takes the priest a few centuries but he finally gets close to his Satanic magic number. All he needs is a few Goths to kill. Thankfully, there's a club full of them and the devil will soon get an overabundance of Goths to play with.

"Gothkill" has the look, feel and smell of a bunch of friends getting together to make a Goth slaughter movie. There doesn't seem to be much point to this flick other than to give the filmmakers an excuse to get the gang together so they could have some fun pretending to kill each other. All roads lead to the climatic scene where the priest goes to town on the Goths in a NYC club. This orgy of gore leads to a more pleasant orgy scene down in Hell where the priest amuses himself with an excessive amount of Goth torture. The movie title doesn't lie. You want dead Goths? "Gothkill" is the movie for you. Goth slaughter awaits.

But while seeing dead Goths piled to the ceiling can be amusing, it's not enough to make a solid B-flick. "Gothkill" is not entertaining enough to compensate for its many other faults. Bad acting, cheap effects, etc. "Gothkill" tries its best to show you the joys of killing freaks but it didn't thrill me too much. My friends agreed and we decided to move on with our triple feature. Goodbye Goths. Hello Bloody Ape.

SCORE: 1.5 out of 4 dead goths

2 comments:

the sneering (homo-phobic) snob said...

i like the cartoon picture of the hot chick, perhaps you could find some similar pictures where the chicks are completely naked.

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

That picture is Death from the Sandman comic series. Probably the most famous dead Goth. Don't think she was ever completely naked but I could be wrong.

But I'll be sure to keep an eye out for other bare naked animated ladies out there.