Saturday, December 10, 2005

"Pleasures of a Woman" review

Pleasures of a Woman (2002)

Directed by Ted W. Crestview

Darian Caine.... April
Syn DeVil.... Meagan
Julian Wells.... Vivian

"Pleasures of a Woman" is a short remake of a short movie. The DVD I saw had both versions on it. "Pleasures of a Woman" is about women seeking pleasure. Julian Wells meets her niece after a funeral. Naturally, they must have sex. First, Julian grabs her niece's shoe and rubs it all over herself. Then Julian grabs her niece and rubs her all over herself. A large breasted woman shows up and also wants some pleasure. Julian sends the two lovebirds away and starts playing with another shoe. Soon Wells will have enough of shoes and jump into the sack to join the pleasure party already in progress. More pill popping and pleasure follow.

If there is one kink I never understood, its shoes and feet. Well, that's not entirely true. I do like seeing women wear long, black jack boots. In one scene, Darian Caine puts on her boots and steps on Julian's vagina. This excites Julian immensely. Now I like seeing long jack boots but I wouldn't want a woman squashing my testicles with them. Another scene has Julian taking a stiletto heel and ramming it into her nipples. That can't feel good. That was one pleasure of a woman I couldn't comprehend.

Anyway, forgetting about feet for a moment, "Pleasures of a Woman" doesn't quite measure up to the original. Porn back in the seventies was a wonderful thing. You know why? Because it was dirty! That is the one element that is missing from modern porn. The original was full of guilt and lust. The remake is just a cheap lesbian love fest. The Seduction babes have made out with each other so much that it's starting to feel like they're in an extended porn family relationship. What I'm saying is, where's the desire? "Pleasures of a Woman" just goes through the straight to video lesbian hoops. Nothing too hot here.

However, if you're an undemanding lover of Sapphic delights, you probably won't mind spending time with Julian and friends. Wells has her long legs and freckled breasts working overtime in this one. Caine and the large breasted woman have a decent sex scene near the end. It's probably worth a look. At any rate, one more ride on the Julian Wells love machine can't be all bad as long as she's not playing with shoes. That kink needs to go. Shoes belong on feet, not rubbed on breasts. Someone had to say it.

SCORE: 2 out of 4 for hot shoe licking action

No comments: