Saturday, January 26, 2008

"Blood Sucking Babes from Burbank" review

Blood Sucking Babes from Burbank (2006)

Director: Kirk Bowman
Writer: Kirk Bowman

Heidi Brucker ... Samantha
Danilo Mancinelli ... Zack
Mira Rayson ... Felicity
Danny Kitz ... Gary
Danielle Kreinik ... Trudy
Jacqueline Anzalone ... Kendra
Yasmine Vine ... Janet
Christina Caporale... Chelsea

I suppose in a technical sense I watched “Blood Sucking Babes from Burbank” but to tell you the truth I am having a difficult time remembering the experience. It’s as if the movie penetrated my eyes and blasted through the back of my skull. Images of babes and blood sucking were playing on the wall behind my head as my scrambled brains couldn’t keep up with the cheap carnage. Yes, it’s that good.

Of course one could make the argument, well what did you expect? I don’t know. A movie worth watching? An experience worth having? I was stretching. So another cleverly titled B-movie does me in and causes some internal damage. I’ll never learn.

“Blood Sucking Babes from Burbank” has various Burbank babes sucking blood. They are looking for a lost treasure somewhere in the Burbank Mountains. They stumble upon an ancient stone which causes them to lust for blood. You rub it all over your body and you become a lip smacking cannibal. After this crucial plot point was revealed, I slowly slipped away from the movie and had an out of body experience. I hovered over my body and watched myself slip into a coma because of this meaningless film.

Nothing much interesting goes down in “Blood Sucking Babes from Burbank”. There are many more scenes of Burbank babes munching on male body parts but after the first guy got some babe teeth marks on him I lost interest. They do manage to squeeze in some topless Burbank babes but the really hot ones manage to stay clothed. At least you can say that the title didn’t lie. Babes do suck blood in this movie. So that’s good. I just wish the babes did something else remotely interesting to keep my brain from shutting down from an overload of Burbank B-movie madness.

SCORE: 1 out of 4 Burbank babes


Chris said...

This sounds like it was right up my alley. I'm shocked, Gore, SHOCKED that this wasn't a chipotle night in the 'bank.

Dr. Gore ( said...

You see Chris, Chipotle makes a lot of things in life better. It surely would have helped here. But it wouldn't have saved the evening. When the sequel comes out, we'll make it a Chipotle night. We won't actually watch the movie mind you, but it will be a good excuse for some hot burrito action.

Anonymous said...

This is the worst film in the history of our planet - of our galaxy - of the UNIVERSE!!!

the sneering (homo-phobic) snob said...

i bought this film from a sexy little chinese bird and it turned out to be an unwatchable abomination, well...i say unwatchable, but then again it did have a few sexy birds in it to keep me interested, and i think the chinese bird might give me a blow-job at some time in the future, if i play my cards right.

Dr. Gore ( said...

Hopefully you'll get something good out of the transaction because the movie will not perform fellatio. It may jerk you off though. It actually melted my brain. Make it a happy ending.

The MooCow said...

Worst archaeology moovie ever...