Saturday, March 17, 2007

"Rock 'n' Roll Frankenstein" review

Rock 'n' Roll Frankenstein (1999)

Directed by Brian O'Hara
Writing credits Brian O'Hara Vito Cannella

Graig Guggenheim ... The Monster, a.k.a. 'King'
Jayson Spence ... Frankie Stein
Barry Feterman... Bernie Stein
Hiram Jacob Segarra ... Iggy
Andrew Hurley ... Curly

A music executive is getting tired of all of these ungrateful musicians bailing on him. He decides he needs to build his own rock star. He enlists the help of his brilliant nephew, Frankie Stein, to help him construct the ultimate rock star. A perpetually high roadie signs on to do some serious grave robbing. He grabs all of the rocker body parts he can get his hands on. He’s got Hendrix’s hands, Keith Moon’s legs and Elvis’s head. They decide the finishing touch needs to be Jim Morrison’s love appendage. In a mix up at the morgue, they grab Liberace’s penis instead. From there the movie gets wacky as Elvis’s head can’t reconcile with Liberace’s tool. Many sexually confused monster jokes follow.

“Rock and Roll Frankenstein” becomes one long gay joke as the new rock God tries everything to make his one-eyed wonder worm shut up. This review is going to become an exercise in how many different synonyms I can come up with for penis. Liberace’s pecker starts taking over the King’s desires. The monster’s brand new sausage starts telling him that he wants some hot man action. His little Elvis just wants to sing. Sometimes you’ve just got to feed the Meat Popsicle.

“Rock and Roll Frankenstein” is a funny flick. I wasn’t expecting it to go in the direction it did but I still liked it. This movie is obsessed with dick. Schlong. Wood and lots of it. Why the filmmakers wanted their rock and roll monster movie to be a parade of gay jokes is unknown. It starts off with some gory scenes as they’re sewing their rock monster together. Once Liberace’s Longfellow shows up, the movie goes hard and fast into pure gay monster comedy.

At any rate, “Rock and Roll Frankenstein” was a decent B-flick. It’s worth a look. Besides, how many movies have an Elvis monster talking to his purple-headed yogurt flinger? Oh man, it’s getting bad. Somebody stop me before I go too far. Too late!

SCORE: 2 out of 4 monster cocks - Very nice!

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