Insecticidal (2005)Directed by Jeffery Scott Lando
Writing credits Jeff O'Brien
Meghan Heffern .... Cami
Rhonda Dent .... Josi
Samantha McLeod .... Sophi
Shawn Bachynski .... Martin
Vicky Huang .... Fumi
Travis Watters .... Mitch
A sorority house is under attack from giant insects. The one geeky girl in the house, (who looks pretty good to me), is playing around with bugs in the basement. But like all would be B-movie scientists, her crazy experiment must go awry. The bugs mutate into super sized critters and want to eat some sorority babes.
OK, seriously. I think I could have made these giant bug effects.
Actually, I probably could have paid a ten year old to crank them out. There was nothing special about these effects. Half the movie is spent having the cast react to these cheap effects. They don’t look convinced. I’m not convinced. The filmmakers weren't convinced. So we all agree. These effects stink. Sure there’s suspension of disbelief, but I didn’t believe for one second that there was anything remotely hostile attacking these people.It’s a shame that they didn’t spend more than $20 bucks on their monster effects because “Insecticidal” starts off like a B-flick I’d get into. We get sorority girls making out,
getting close in the shower,
making out some more
and various other scenes of sorority babes partying.
I was rooting for “Insecticidal” to be a winner. But staring at those cheap-o effects attacking an unconvincing cast sunk the movie for me. “Insecticidal” has its good points but it’s just not fun enough to recommend a viewing.One last thought. Why didn’t the blonde girl with the largest breasts get naked?
Why? Almost every other girl got topless except the one who really should have. She was heaving throughout the whole movie but still didn’t feel the need to undress. 
Why I say?
Why oh why!?SCORE: 2 out of 4 giant rampaging cheap effects attacking
WHY?!! 
Once inside, the fiends pounce. The Triad boss sets up a Live Feed so he can watch the tourists get tortured for his pleasure. He keeps a giant leather bound psycho on the payroll for just such occasions. 
They decide to stick a large pipe down her throat. Naturally, the next step is to shove a small snake down her windpipe. As the snake makes its way through her body, the large maniac sticks her in the ribs with his machete. Guess what wiggles through her ribcage? When I saw that snake pop its head up from her guts, I knew that the filmmakers were on the same demented wavelength as me.
Glori-Anne Gilbert shows up as the dorky friend who is still a virgin. 
This will not stand. The Dream Witch, (The Wolf), appears with her mandatory lightening bolt flash and dreadful rock song blasting away to sex Gilbert up. 
Their scene together was the best in the movie. As they squirm around together, the video gets scratchy and faded and the audio has nothing but a horrible rock song plaguing your ears. This is supposed to denote that the Dream Witch is in the house. This was also a very poor choice of visual effects as I would have been much happier hearing the Wolf howl with Glori-Anne.
Well, I’m not going to tell you that this was a good movie. “Dream Witch” is a cheeseball lesbian flick. The sound is terrible, the video is cheap and the acting is atrocious. It was as cut-rate and pathetic as I thought it was going to be. But with a little sleazy publicity behind it, it’s kind of interesting. The Wolf looks pretty good to me. She has got some hot moves on her. She also has the distinction of being the first woman to have a good sex scene with Glorie-Ann Gilbert. Gilbert needs to be dominated and the Wolf took over the second she put her hands on her. There’s also a lot of nudity in “Dream Witch” so it’s got that going for it.
Very, very badly. Nice gory way to start the flick. It’s never too early to have the blood start spilling.
It wasn’t the hottest scene ever put to film but you gotta like a maniacal doctor who can take the time from his reanimation experiments to have his hot lab assistants get naked for him. Well, maybe you don’t have to like him but I sure appreciate it.
“Bordello Exposed 2” is another sex flick from Torchlight pictures. These movies saturate the softcore market now. For ten dollars a pop, it’s no secret why. The director of this flick also did another stellar softcore flick “Secret Desires of a Housewife 2” with Akira Lane. I will be on the lookout for more of his work.
the main club guard
and, in an amazing twist ending, the blonde wife who hired him.
When I say amazing, I really mean no surprise at all. So if you’re looking for a great softcore girl/girl scene with some private eye sex thrown in as well, “Bordello Exposed 2” has got what you need.
Tis a bountiful harvest! I’d never thought I’d say this, but Fran Drescher is looking pretty dang good. She has quite the figure. She is eating Christmas dinner with Chris Kattan, Rebecca Gayheart and James Caan. What the heck are all these actors doing in my killer Santa movie? Now, I’m not in tune to the inner workings of the Hollywood machine, but when I saw that Brett Ratner was one of the producers of this flick, it became clear who got Sonny Corleone to sit at the B-movie dinner table. Hopefully we’ll see Drescher’s cleavage in Rush Hour 3 or 4 sometime soon.
Nothing is more dangerous than a man with a garden cultivator. Of course he likes to think of it as his "Claw". "Santa Cultivator" just doesn't sound as scary. He stalks his way through the cast and crew of Rochon’s latest B-epic so that he can finally take Debbie home for himself.
The results are not surprising. But as a Debbie Rochon flick, "Santa Claws" is kind of interesting. Debbie gets a lot of chances to spout out about her career and fan worship. “To horror fans, I am a celebrity.” She also has a nice scene where she poses in front of the Christmas tree. 
That’s the Debbie I like to see. Does that make me an obsessed loser? What’s wrong with liking a beautiful brunette who can scream her lungs out? Not a thing.
I exploit women all day but it's the fans who are sick! Yeah right.
Here's the B-movie nut, I mean fan, trying to talk to his Goddess. Hard to do because the man is obviously insane. He watches B-movies! Watch out Debbie!
This scene is shot in a very slow, lovey dovey kind of way. Usually this would make me retch but it allows the real voyeur here, (me), to linger on Beverly’s body. This is the only Beverly Lynne sex scene in the movie as the rest of the time she is logged onto the webcam watching and watching and watching…She likes to watch. 
The rest of the movie is a letdown. Beverly stares at her computer as various exhibitionists have sex on her webcam. She was turned on by it all but I was not. This movie also breaks one of the cardinal rules of softcore filmmaking by having the same couple have sex twice. 
This might not have been so bad if the couple was worth watching. When the first audition was over, Beverly’s friend shouts out, “You are hired!”. I’m not sure if we were watching the same couple. I would have fired them on the spot. I also would have had the guy arrested for impersonating a softcore actor. Oh man, it was bad.
Beverly, Beverly, Beverly.
