Here is a listing of various movie reviews I have written. Mostly they'll be about B-movies, monster flicks and various other forms of movie mayhem.
Saturday, January 21, 2006
"Lust Connection" review
Lust Connection (2005)
Directed by Jim Wynorski
Writing credits Bill Langlois Monroe Jim Wynorski
Julie K. Smith.... Sasha
Glori-Anne Gilbert.... Jenny/Susan
Frank Harper.... Rick
Holly Hollywood.... Girl in Hotel
Chasey Lain.... Pizza Molly
Jodie Moore.... The Stranger
Monique Parent.... Beth
A dude hits the skin flick lottery jackpot and gets to make it with lots of hot women. He's the suspect in his large breasted wife's murder. He starts to do his own investigation. Maybe it was one of his many lust connections that killed her. He reminisces on all of the sex he's had with his internet hookups. There are a lot of hot women out there who just can't get enough of this guy. His wife's twin sister shows up to comfort him and help him flashback on some more sex. Hopefully he'll find the time to uncover the killer in between thinking about all of his conquests.
Two questions: Who the heck is this guy and how did he get so lucky? I have never seen a soft core flick that only had one guy having all of the fun. I don't know whether I should be outraged at the lack of variety in "Lust Connection" or if I should praise this man as a super stud. I mean, just having a scene with Julie Smith is enough to warrant some praise. This guy makes it with everybody! The hit list: Julie Smith, Glori-Anne Gilbert, Monique Parent, Jodie Moore and a very bored looking Chasey Lain. I need to learn this guy's secret. It's not his looks.
So there are a lot of hard bodied women having a lot of sex with super stud man. I'm kind of upset that there wasn't any variety in this flick. Why didn't a couple of the lust connections hook up with each other? A Julie Smith/Chasey Lain scene would have been awesome. Awesome I say! Speaking of Julie Smith, this gives me another chance to talk about her breasts. They're awesome. Awesome I say! She has two scenes. One has her scrubbing herself in a bathtub and the other has her rolling around on the couch with the big man. Both scenes are great. Overall, there are plenty of hot women doing their thing in "Lust Connection". Of course, they're only doing their thing with one guy. If that doesn't bother you, it's worth a look.
SCORE: 3 out of 4 awesome Julie Smiths
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5 comments:
Sorry to have been out of touch, but I'm back, and want to mention that I spent a few days on the set of both The Witches of Breastwick and Lust Connection, and actually drove Chasey (who was living with me at the time) and the lovely Avy Scott up to the remote location. Actually, I'm pretty sutre my car was used as the lead guy's in one shot. Anyway, Mr. Blueberry & Co. had to handle all of the usual potentially-catastrophic production challenges (most casting-related, as I recall) but had to do it on a very tight schedule, so my hats are off to them. I got my start as a hanger-on and PA on Jim Wynorski's sets years ago, and though our approaches are often quite dissimilar (he HATED the CGW stockings scene when I sprung the newly created pages on him on the Breastwick set, before loaning me cast and crew to do my pick-up anyway), I have learned so much from him (he, obviously a vastly more experienced filmmaker than I) that his attitudes and quirps are never far from my mind when I'm working. He often gets a bad rap, but I can tell you that he is a sensitive, and surprisingly diplomatic and cordial fellow with whom I have had very very few cross-words over the last decade and a half. Jim doesn't always get his due, and I'm here to tell you, it's hard work.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's not gloss over this living with Chasey Lain thing. The real question there would be was she your girlfriend at the time or was she just crashing at your pad? Either way, it's still an interesting life you have there. It makes me wonder what else you're up to...
Anyway, I hear your praise for Wynorksi. God knows I've seen my share of his movies. I'm sure he must be the kind of guy that inspires loyalty as the mighty Jay Richardson has been popping up in his movies for decades. You obviously have an affinity for him as well.
But speaking as a B-movie viewer, (you knew this was coming), sometimes things get skipped over when you have a manic need to crank out 4 or 5, (or 6 or 7), movies a year. Quality control is not evident with some of his movies. Check out "The Thing Below" for an example of a complete waste of time and effort.
But I will say that as far as his skin flick output is concerned, Wynorski knows what he's doing. If I have one thing in common with him, it's a love of large breasted women. I also appreciate the fact that the man has a monopoly on Julie Smith's beautiful breasts. That will always bring me back to Wynorski land.
I refer you to the pic of Chasey and Satine Diamond in my bedroom among my MySpace profile pics, dressing and primping alongside my trusty sombrero (which sits perched atop a floor lamp given to me as a gift by the lovely and talented Houston (of The Houston 620 fame)) and leave the rest to your imagination.
As for Jim, his remarkable consistency of vision in reagard to the erotic pics, might also be called obsession or endless repetition of a narrow theme (after all, Lust Connect ion is just a remake of his own Virtal Desires) -- it depends on your point of view. One mans stylist is another man's one-trick pony. I know he has fun conceiving the stories and titles, but I don't know if the actual execution is more or less fun or whether it garners more of his attention than his regular projects.
As for loyalty, and having a trouoe of frequent co-conspirators, you know, I used to balk at the idea -- God, why does he always use Jay, or whoever -- but in the end, aside from hopefuly being people you enjoy working with, who share your worldview, and who are within your budget, you know that they're gonna show up and you can rely upon their performance. Now I constantly re-hire people from my first, CGW, We bonded, share a joy for making entertaining movies, and after the first one came out all right, they now trust that they're efforts will not be wasted. All of this was picked up by me in large part from watching Jim work. His crews were aways pretty small, everyone could do a couple of different jobs if needed, and everyone was a comedian. The only difference for me is that I've done almost every one of those jobs myself, and they know it. They can't BS me, but I'm also the first one to help move the sofa for a shot, or grab something they need and "fly it in" to them on set.
Making movies is tough, and exciting, and often filled with precious, priceless moments, but its a lot like moving a piano: you're gonna get banged up.
And by the way, I could have had Julie's bare breasts in her scene in MY movie, easily -- I've known her as long as I have Jim -- but I would have had to pay her! I adore her . . . and her breasts.
IM BACK DR. GORE, FOR MORE OF UR OPINIONS ON MY T & A...OH & THE FLICKS THEY FREQUENT! THIS MOVIE WAS KINDA CRAZY 2 SAY THE LEAST! FIRST OF ALL THIS FLICK WAS SHOT DURING THE SAME WEEK AS 'THE WITCHES OF BREASTWICK' THEY WERE SHOT TOGETHER ACTUALLY! SO THERE'S THAT... I WAS LIED 2 BOUT THE PORN ACTRESSES THAT WERE GONNA BE INVOLVED! @ THE TIME I REALLY NEVER DID SEX SCENES W/ REAL ADULT FILM ACTRESSES...FOR PERSONAL REASONS, BUT MR. WYNORSKI KNEW THIS AND LIED 2 ME 2 GET ME 2 DO THIS...NEEDLESS 2 SAY HE AN I DID NOT SPEAK FOR A COUPLE MONTHS AFTER THIS WAS A WRAP!! *SIDE NOTE*- I WOULD NEVER DO A SEX SCENE W/ CHASEY LANE...PLEASE RE-WATCH HER IN THIS FLICK...YIKES!! CLASSIC EXAMPLE OF...'EVERYTHING THAT GLITTERS, IS NOT GOLD'!! SHE IS A MESS, AND ILL SAY IT IF NO ONE ELSE WILL! WOOP-WOOP...
Yes, Doc, I was there and Julie was indeed upset about the porno cast members. Unfortunately, I was the one who drove Chasey (as well as Avy Scott) up to the remote location for her pitiful scene. It was a mess. Big time. Fortunately, when I prevailed upon JKS to do a pick-up scene for my movie, we had Taimie Hannum on hand to appear opposite her.
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