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Thursday, January 18, 2007

"A Chinese Torture Chamber Story" review

A Chinese Torture Chamber Story (1995)
AKA Mun ching sap daai huk ying

Directed by Bosco Lam
Writing credits Cheuk Bing

Julie Lee.... Ki Dan-Fung
Siu-Kei Lee.... Supreme Court Judge
Ching Mai.... Scholar's wife
Lawrence Ng.... Scholar - Yeung Naai Miu
Elvis Tsui.... Win Chung-Lung

“A Chinese Torture Chamber Story” has been sitting on my pile of movies to watch for years. I’ve got quite the backlog. I used to have it on video but I gave it to my brother. He loved it. He loved it so much that he had to call me at 3:00 in the morning to let me know how good it was. He and his buddies were having a drunken torture chamber party. They had just finished watching it and needed to scream their approval into my answering machine, “That movie was great! We just wanted you to know. With the flying in the air and the horse…ohhhhh, OH! Thanks! Thank you!” So now, finally, I have witnessed what drove my brother into torture chamber ecstasy.

A woman is accused of murder. The only way to get a confession out of her is to torture her in the most sadistic way possible. Only through exquisite agony will she confess her sins. She tries to tell the judge the truth but he’s having too much fun putting the boot to her head. As her story unfolds, we come to realize that she is just a precious flower living in a cruel world. This calls for more torture! As she continues to get beaten down, we are treated to various flashbacks from her life. They’re mostly flashbacks of sex, nudity, whippings, and of course, two master kung fu fighters having supersonic sex up in the trees.

“A Chinese Torture Chamber Story” is a manic exploitation movie. It’s not satisfied just showing you scenes of torture as its delirious title might lead you to believe. Oh no. You get plenty of bang for your buck with this one. There are copious amounts of naked women having sweaty sex while the subtitles make you crack up laughing. Watching the English language get savaged while all this insanity was going on made the movie that much sweeter.The best scene had to be the two kung fu fighters having a sex showdown.

*BEST SCENE SPOILER*

They start off sword fighting up in the trees. Then the woman challenges the man to see if he can satisfy her. They fly at each other and start copulating at light speed. He drags her through the trees and is humping her like a superhero. Well, he’s my hero anyway. Then he throws her on the ground to show her some more moves. It all ends with his horny groundhog move and some electrical ejaculation. My God this scene was brilliant. I couldn’t tell you exactly why this scene was important to a movie about a Chinese torture chamber. But then again, what other movie could it have possibly fit into?

*END SPOILER*

“A Chinese Torture Chamber Story” is a fine exploitation flick. It’s also hilarious because of the sincerity of the actors in totally ludicrous situations. One of the last flashbacks has the woman trying to get her husband off. This selfless act just might save his life. What a woman. But while this is going on, I swear I heard what sounded like the Chinese Musak version of “Unchained Melody” blasting in the background. I was laughing like a madman.

“A Chinese Torture Chamber Story” is well worth seeing. It’s sick, sleazy and full of laughs.

SCORE: 3 out of 4 for good times in the torture chamber

Justice is not blind. Your nakedness just might save the innocents.

One last thought,

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