"Sigma Die!" review

Sigma Die! (2007)

Director: Michael Hoffman Jr.
Writer: Meghan Jones

Joe Estevez ... Officer Brubek
Reggie Bannister ... Chief Moorhouse
Brinke Stevens ... Mrs. Angleman
Aly Hartman ... Jamie
Christian Anderson ... Zach
Heather Zagone ... Linda
Nikie Zambo ... PJ

A bunch of Zeta girls decide to rent a cabin for a party. Some guys show up to drink beer, dance around and be as obnoxious as possible. A killer is stalking the Zeta girls. Could it be the caretakers of the cabin? Could Brinke Stevens be involved in the tragic killings of Zeta girls and guys? Does a panty raid from 20 years ago have any bearings on this cheap party going on in the woods? And what are Joe Estevez and Reggie Bannister doing in this movie? "Sigma Die!" poses these and other questions that are just not worth answering.

Sorority girls flash their breasts and die as "Sigma Die!" grinds on down the path to B-movie oblivion. It's another annoying slasher movie that didn't need to get made yet somehow found the money to bring itself to life. I rented it in the hopes that Brinke Stevens could give it some of that B-movie magic she does so well. Alas, it was not to be. The Zeta girls and guys dominated the movie in performances I can only describe as irritating. Although grating might be another word I could use to describe their collective efforts. "Sigma Die!" needed Zetas to be dying quicker than they were so we could get back to Brinke. Or at least linger on them dying so I could feel a little better about sitting through this movie.

But "Sigma Die!" makes a special effort to make sure that the viewer is really annoyed by the movie. At about the half hour mark the movie actually repeats itself to show the first fifteen minutes again. It literally shows the same scenes that you had just watched so you can really be aggravated at the Zeta's party scenes. It was at this moment that the movie lost me. I mean, if it had rewound itself to show a Zeta girls orgy, that would be a different story. But instead I get to see the beer swilling teens swill some more beer. Will you people put down your beers and die already?

"Sigma Die!" can be skipped. There's not anything going on here that you haven't seen before. The only positive thing I can say about it is that it did have some naked Zetas and Brinke Stevens showed up for ten minutes or so. If you're looking for Brinke Stevens satisfaction, check out "Nightmare Sisters". Let "Sigma Die!" die somewhere else.

SCORE: 1.5 out of 4 dead Zetas