"Motor Home Massacre" review

Motor Home Massacre (2005)

Directed by Allen Wilbanks
Writing credits Allen Wilbanks

Shan Holleman .... Sabrina
Nelson Bonilla .... Roger (as Nelson Bonilla)
Justin Geer .... Benji
Tanya Fraser .... Nicole
Breanne Ashley .... Brooke
Greg Corbett .... Nick

My brother and I watched “Motor Home Massacre” the other day as part of a triple B-movie marathon. It didn’t start off as a triple feature. Eventually, it just kind of evolved into one. That’s what happens when you rent five movies and are not that sleepy. You’ve just got to keep the party going. My brother looked at me after every movie and said, “Are you going to go to sleep or you got one more in you?” I was game. After seven or so beers, so was he. “Motor Home Massacre” was preceded by “Feast” and “Abominable”.

Now at this point of the evening, we were experiencing diminishing returns. We knew that “Motor Home Massacre” was not going to compete with the other two flicks but at 1:30 in the morning, it really didn’t matter. It was a beer filled frenzy that propelled us forward into the last B-movie of the night.

“Motor Home Massacre”. Says it all doesn’t it? A bunch of teens drive off to the countryside in a motor home. They’re heading for a massacre. Someone is waiting in the woods for them and wants to start the massacre as soon as possible. This teen bunch is so annoying, who could blame the killer? Various teens are slaughtered while my brother and I started to slip away into B-movie madness.

“Motor Home Massacre” has one really good kill scene. It’s so good that the filmmakers decided to show it twice. The first time they showed the scene without any naked breasts shots. The second time it was a naked breast bonanza. Can you guess which version I liked better?

*KILL SCENE SPOILER*

The movie starts off with a couple trying to get a three way going with a black woman they meet in the woods. She runs off before the party could get started. This unfortunate turn of events must have upset the killer as much as me because he decides to take the couple out. He kills the guy and then drags the tent up a tree with the girl inside. As she sways back and forth, he stabs the tent without mercy. Later on in the movie, this story is retold to the teens but with the extra color commentary of the woman’s naked breasts. That was some good storytelling. These scenes were pretty good.

*END SPOILER*

The rest of “Motor Home Massacre” was a pretty standard cheap slasher flick. The teens were annoying and didn’t generate any sympathy to their massacre plight. There were a couple of other kill scenes but nothing to get too excited about. By the time the ridiculous twist ending reared its head, I was ready for bed. I had done enough damage to my brain that night. I needed to rest for the next inevitable triple feature.

SCORE: 1.5 out of 4 massacred motor homes