"Malibu Eyes" review

Malibu Eyes (2004)

Directed by Norman Ollestad
Writing credits Norman Ollestad

Mina Badie .... Michelle
Anita Barone .... Mayor
Brian Bishop .... Cabby #1
Courtney Cole-Fendley .... Hannah

I rented "Malibu Eyes" because I thought it was going to be another sex flick. The description sure sounded like it was going to be: Young girl in a beach house spies on her neighbors etc. But I'm afraid "Malibu Eyes" has pretensions of being something far more than that. It is trying, and I emphasize trying, to be some sort of thriller in which Hannah watches people and in turn is watched by a mysterious stranger. Were the filmmakers trying to tip us off with the palindrome name HANNAH? Hannah gets it both ways. She watches them, they watch her. I watch all of them and cry all night long. It's a vicious cycle.

"Malibu Eyes" is a stinker. It's shot on cheap video and looks tacky. What the heck am I watching? More importantly, where's the sex? If Hannah loves watching people, why can't she watch something interesting? Who knew spying in neighbor's windows could be so dull? Hannah even has a secret camera in her sunglasses. So she wanders around the beach looking like one of the ladies from "Invasion of the Bee Girls". It's preposterous and pathetic. The real kick in the groin with this one is that any remote semblance of a payoff scene is shot so ineptly that you can't make out what's going on. Any nudity or sex scene is handled badly. The only reason for watching Hannah the voyeur is to see what she sees and she better see something worthwhile. You see? Better yet, don't see this one. It's a waste.

SCORE: 1 out of 4 for incompetent voyeurism