"Firewall" review

Firewall (2006)

Directed by Richard Loncraine

Writing credits Joe Forte

Harrison Ford.... Jack Stanfield
Paul Bettany.... Bill Cox

Virginia Madsen.... Beth Stanfield

I was able to catch the “Firewall” premiere at the Chinese theater in Hollywood. It was the first time that I’ve gone to a premiere and I was slightly giddy. I knew a guy who knew a guy who knew someone else who wasn’t coming etc. You know how these things go. We must praise this mysterious benefactor for the free ticket. And no, it wasn’t Harrison Ford.

So I get a call around 4:15 asking me if I want to go to the premiere. Hell yes I want to go! First gear! I’m on Santa Monica Blvd. Second gear! I burn rubber up Fairfax. Once my “date” arrives, we get to walk up the red carpet into the theater. Not the main red carpet mind you, but one off to the side. Hey, it was still red. Once you get in, it’s in the theater’s interest to get your ass in a chair as quickly as possible. They hustle you in as fast as they can but not before I got a chance to stop at the concession stand. They had free drinks and popcorn lined up for whoever wanted them. You know what that is? Pure Hollywood decadence. Oh yeah man. I put some butter on it too. I’m out of control!

Once you’re in your seat, it becomes a waiting game as the celebrities take their time for the cameras and wander into the theater at their leisure. So I turned around in my seat and there he was. I saw Harrison Ford! He was strolling down the aisle to his seat. He had a big grey beard going on and lots of ushers around him. The second he sat down, and I mean THE SECOND he sat down, the movie started. You don't want to keep Indiana Jones waiting for his movie. He was The Man in that room.

One of the funniest things at the premiere was the amount of applause the credits got. In a normal movie, you sit there patiently waiting for the credits to scroll by. At the premiere of “Firewall”, I think the purpose of the event was just to see the credits. Every single credit got a rousing applause. From the production companies to the guy who did the catering, everybody gave themselves some love. It was pretty hilarious.

Oh, so you’re wondering how the actual movie was? Well, I’ve got two words for you: Pet navigator. You’ll understand when you see it. That’s my way of saying it was a standard, ridiculous Hollywood thriller.

So Harrison Ford gets his family threatened by a bunch of thugs. They want him to help them steal lots of money from the bank he works at. Harrison fights back. You know how the rest of the movie goes.

It’s good to see Harrison Ford get back into action hero mode. “Firewall” won’t blow anyone away but it’s decent entertainment. Granted it has a ridiculous twist at the end, thanks to the pet navigator, but Harrison makes up for it with a nice fight scene with the bad guy.

One last thing, I also saw Virgina Madsen. She plays the wife in the movie. I was two feet away from her! She was hanging out in the lobby talking to people after the movie. I was standing by the exit and out she went. Some cheeseball leaned into her face and said "Loved you in "Sideways"! YES! Real Hollywood schmoozing right in my face! Got to love it!

SCORE: 2.5 out of 4 Chinese theaters

Virgina Madsen looking goood in Hollywood.