Friday, July 04, 2008

"An Erotic Werewolf in London" review

An Erotic Werewolf in London (2006)

Director: William Hellfire

Misty Mundae ... Misty
Anoushka ... Anoushka the Werewolf
Darian Caine ... Nurse Nancy
Julian Wells ... Nurse Carla
Zoe Moonshine ... Zoe the Reporter
Ruby Larocca ... Ruby (as Ruby LaRocca)
Linda Murray ... Anoushka's Neighbor

Ahh, "The Erotic Werewolf in London". Truly, an important film. A film that needs to be thoroughly analyzed for it's immense contribution to cinema. Oh wait, did I say film? Because I meant garbage. Oh man, what a stinker. Something smells rotten and I think it's this movie. I can't put my finger on when the movie fell apart but it was somewhere around the time I hit the play button. Oh yeah, that was it. Now I remember. SINGING: Memories...Misty, (Mundae), water colored memories...of the way this movie stinks...

Of course one would be foolish to expect anything else from a movie called the "Erotic Werewolf in London". I've been known to be foolish and I was expecting a little more. Not that I'm upset that the movie was a pathetic joke mind you. At this point I expect this level of quality, (low), from the Seduction Cinema people. But the fact that they have been sitting on this movie for years, (That's years. Years! It takes them this long to hatch a rotten egg?), leaves me vaguely offended at the level of contempt they show for B-movie making. What kind of tinkering are the mad Seduction scientists doing in their lesbian laboratory? Hmmm... "Igor! Dig up some more hot babes! What does it have to do with werewolves? What kind of stupid question is that you insolent worm?! Screw the werewolf! Bring on the cheap sex! MOO-HA-HA!"

So a bunch of Seduction babes got together for some random sex scenes. Years later the filmmakers decided to pretend they care by stapling the movie together and shoving it in a DVD box. There was something about a werewolf but I lost interest in the movie as quickly as the director did. Here's what I remember: Misty Mundae gets bit by Anoushka after some sapphic action and proceeds to sloooowly turn into a semblance of a werewolf. Julian Wells and Darian Caine show up for some half hearted sex scenes with Misty Werewolf. Then there's a British reporter checking on werewolf stories and some other stuff and ahh who cares?

As pathetic as this movie is, I can still find two good things to say about it. One, there were a lot of naked women in it which saves it from the landfill. Two, the sex scene between Anoushka and Mundae at the beginning was pretty good so that scores it a point and a half. But that's all the praise I can muster for this one. If you get this movie for any reason other than the Anoushka/Mundae coupling at the beginning, you'll be using the DVD for target practice. They even had yet another sex scene between Julian Wells and Mundae and managed to blow it. The Mundae/Wells sex scenes are probably the best thing about Seduction Cinema. (For a truly satisfying night with Julian, get "The Seduction of Misty Mundae" I can't praise that movie enough.) As far as "Erotic Werewolf in London", it's a waste of sweet Julian.
Maybe that's what bums me out more than anything. According to the IMDb, this appears to be the last hurrah for Ms. Julian Wells and her lesbian adventures. I wanted to go out with a better one than this flea bitten mutt of a movie but it was not to be. Oh well. We had some good times. SINGING: Memories, Misty (Mundae) water colored memories, of Misty kissing Julian...

SCORE: 1.5 out of 4 werebabes

And here's my ode to Julian Wells. She has helped me be a better reviewer. Seriously. It's the B-movie babes that keep me going and she was one of the best. She has inspired me to keep writing reviews of B-movies. Thanks for being in so many of them. We had some laughs. Well, at least I did. Here's my montage of Julian.

Ahh, Julian and Misty. Truly a great sight to behold. The highlight of many a dire Seduction Cinema flick.

See what I mean?
Mmm mmm good. "The Seduction of Misty Mundae" represents everything that is good in softcore cinema. A must see.Julian As Aunt Inga. I only wish she was called Aunt Ilsa.
Julian put her long legs to good effect in "Sexy American Idle". She was fairly amusing in this one.Speaking of legs, there was plenty of feet action in "Pleasures of a Woman". One of Julian's kinkier movies. There's is also a decent sex scene with Syn De Vil in this one. Julian showed up as Dr. Babe in "Shock-O-Rama". Yes, she will let down her hair and take off her glasses at some point. Some point real soon...Another hot doctor for Julian was in "Dr Jeckyl and Mistress Hyde". One of her better Misty make out movies.
Julian as the sleazy gold digger in "Skin Crawl". A decent B-flick about skin and crawling and grown women in school girl outfits.
Julian brought her super babe power to "Spiderbabe". And I mean power! WOO-HOO!
Julian and Misty. Real power. As close to a sure bet for a good time as there is. We had some fun. Well, at least I did.